Deep Regrets
by DetectiveRenegade11579
Summary: Light visits L's grave with a heavy heart and a guilty conscience. Warning: Character death


**A/N: I like to believe some part of Light felt guilty for L's death, so that is where the idea for this story came from.**

Disclaimer:

**I do NOT own Death Note.**

Deep Regrets,

A dark silhouette sauntered casually across the silent cemetery, a bouquet of flowers held loosely in one hand and a black notebook carried under his arm. His dull caramel eyes stared straight ahead, intently focused on the headstone that stood by itself, the only one without a proper name etched into the stone surface. The young man paused directly in front of the headstone, the only one without a constant stream of visitors; the only one without a name. He placed the bouquet gently down on the newly unearthed soil, still unsettled from the burial only a few days prior. The young man's brown hair was slightly windswept from the gentle wind and he stood straight-backed, his gaze never lingering from the grave in front of him. He thought about the friend he had lost, thought about how he should have prevented it, how it was his fault. He regretted it; regretted everything. He allowed the black notebook to slip from underneath his arm, and it fell to the soft soil soundlessly. It landed face up and on the cover in white, bold letters were the words Death Note. He didn't even noticed the tears as they began to stream down his cheeks, his thoughts punishing as he remembered just why this grave was here.

If he had never touched the Death Note, never brought it home, even, L would still be alive. Granted, he never would have met the Great Detective without it, or at least, not for a couple more years, but L would still be alive. He ignored the fact his neatly ironed clothes would get dirty as he sank to the ground, burying his head in his shaking hands, and finally allowed himself to grieve over the death of one of the most inspirational and unforgettable people he had ever met. Their relationship had been a rocky one at best, but he still found himself in awe of the detective, even when he shouldn't have. He'd wanted to meet L ever since he was a young child, and when he was finally given the chance, he was the reason L was there. He was Kira, and L knew it all along. L knew he was going to die that night, yet he didn't do anything about it. He kept on with the case like nothing was going to happen, and even smiled and assisted him in drying off after they'd been out in the pouring rain. Although he would never truly know if L meant what he said when he told him he was his first ever friend, the young man knew that it was true for him. L was his friend, but at the same time, he had been his enemy.

It was a messed up and uncomfortable situation, but in the end, there was nothing that could be done about it. He was Kira, and L was the detective trying to find Kira. Absently, he wondered what the Taskforce would say, or anyone for that matter, if they saw the man known as Kira weeping in front of the nameless grave that was now L. The youth failed to notice another presence, this one a monstrous, grinning, humanoid-like figure floating a few feet away.

"I thought you wanted him dead. Why are you sneaking into the cemetery in the middle of the night to visit him if you wanted him dead?" The monstrous being replied, his voice raspy and slightly confused at the man's actions.

The youth didn't answer. He calmed down, wiping the tears from his face, but remained curled up on the soft soil. His gaze found the notebook and then quickly left to observe the headstone. It was a beautiful stone cross that stood at least four feet from the ground, both breathtaking and quite unusual compared to the other plain headstones. What made the headstone unique in its own way was the complete lack of a name etched across the surface. The reason being; they didn't want anyone to know L was dead, that Kira had finally succeeded in killing him. But Kira hadn't killed him, or he hadn't been the one to write his name in the notebook, anyway. He found out, a little too late, just how much he would miss the quirky detective once he was gone. And there wasn't a power in the world that could bring the dead back to life.

After an hour of just staring listlessly at the nameless headstone, the young man stood, grasping the spine of the black notebook as L had once done, as if it contained some sort of disease, and turned toward the grinning human-like figure. The Shinigami eyed him silently, wondering what the youth planned to do next. Without warning, the young man thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He clicked the top open and set the notebook aflame, his face determined and solemn.

The Shinigami's already abnormally wide eyes widened as he uttered, "Huh? What's this, Light? Are you giving up?"

When Light glanced up, it was moments later, the notebook now nothing but ashes at his feet; a pile on L's grave. He didn't address the shinigami; instead, he turned to the grave once more. "Well, L. You wanted to know how I killed. You wanted to know the truth. You knew I was Kira all along, yet you were just unable to prove it. I came here tonight to tell you that I no longer want to be Kira. I give up. I'll continue punishing criminals how you would approve; instead of what you fought against. Kira is gone and he will never be returning." Light turned away once more, paused, and then turned back around, his caramel eyes wet with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, L. For everything. I hope I can redeem myself for working as L in your place. I won't disrespect the title of L in any way, nor will I ever forget the real L and what he stood for. I promise." With that said Light Yagami turned away from L's grave and made his way through the darkened cemetery, leaving a confused shinigami to look after him. "Goodbye, Ryuk." Light called behind him, his voice quiet. Neither Ryuk nor Light noticed the invisible floating figure perched oddly on the nameless headstone.

This figure was familiar to the few people who had met him. His messy black hair fell into his face and into his grey owl-like eyes. He wore the same outfit he had the day he died, a pair of oversized blue jeans and a large, baggy, long-sleeved, white T-shirt. He legs were pulled up to his chest and his thumb to his lips as his large eyes gazed from the pile of Death Note ashes to the young man leaving the cemetery. "_Sayonara, Light-kun. We will meet again one day._" Although his voice was unheard by anyone, Light paused at the exit to the cemetery and glanced back at the nameless headstone that towered over all the others.

"Goodbye, L. I hope to see you again someday." Light turned and walked through the heavy iron gates, and as they closed behind him, his whispered words floated toward Ryuk and L despite the distance.

"I relinquish it."


End file.
